Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Sorting the Chaff from the AWB Scandal.


I came across these words from Gandhi who was commenting over at Road to Surfdom. Hope he doesn't mind me reproducing them because they cover matters very well, on the publication of the weighty Cole Report. Mr Cole is seen passing his work over to the Governor-General.

"Yet another shameful day for Australia. How many is that, folks? How many more must we endure? How many more CAN we endure, before we surrender whatever vision of “Australia” we ever held to?

Howard has found our nation’s weak point and he is exploiting it.

The Australian nation is in a dysfunctional relationship with a cheating partner. He promises her security and prosperity, but he cheats on her repeatedly and then he lies about it.

“Where were you last night, darling?”
“I was in bed with the AWB, but don’t worry - nothing happened. I promise…”

She knows he is lying, but she doesn’t dare to challenge him, not wholeheartedly. She is scared of confronting the horrible truth, and she dreads the consequences that must inevitably follow.

If our government knowingly breached the UN sanctions program against Iraq, even while millions of innocent Iraqi children were dying as a result of it; if our government then knowingly participated in a pre-planned war, in defiance of international law and the UN, to seize control of Iraq’s oil fields; if our government lied through its collective teeth to hide these facts and then, under international pressure, set up an anodyne enquiry to absolve itself of any guilt; if, with half a million or more Iraqis now dead and their entire country teetering on the precipice of bloody chaos, our Government continues to put its own survival ahead of any moral consideration; if all this and more is true, then we as a nation have lost our way, we are in the hands of mobsters, we are ruled by War Criminals in shiny suits, we are worse than a laughing stock because we have voted for these people again and again and again, even while we watched other people suffer the consequences of our poor judgement.

The desperate refugee children fished from our heaving seas, the suicidal children locked behind razor wires in desert detention centres, the charred corpses of bombed children with blackened, burned out bubbles where their eyes should be… These are the victims of our terrible misjudgement.

For the record, AWB shares went up following the report’s release."

We used to have Westminster principles of ministerial responsibilty and cabinet collective responsibility*. They have been trashed by he who claims to head a conservative government. Andrew Peacock proposed to resign in the 70's because his wife posed for Sheridan Sheets advertisements. Now we have ......"
A Guide on Key Elements of Ministerial Responsibility" that gives the PM's cabinet "a convenient get-out-of-jail when it comes to carrying the can for departmental stuff-ups.On the matter of accountability in ministerial relations with departments, the code hangs out the public servant to dry, not the minister." Terms of reference of the Cole Report provide a nice little extra buffer, as even the public servants have an escape clause from scrutiny and criminal investigation.

We used to have a media that would have tracked down these, at the very least, incompetent ministers. Instead we get headlines like "Cole report clears Govt"* . When clearly Mr Cole was not employed to investigate them. To find the truth we may well need American help or local litigation. Those AWB employees who are eventually charged may yet spill the beans, probably after ministers are beyond the electorates scrutiny. Still, they are showing immediate signs of being a bit testy. Beware Howard,Downer and Vaile you may not be off the hook yet.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Election Day Fever Pitch.













Victoria goes to the polls this sad day.
And for our choice we'll pay and we'll pay.

Is it big ted who owns the stock market, or bracksy the commie who'l make us his target?

No matter what,
our hearts will soon tremble.
Specially coz, the greenies dissemble.
A good show from them, will lead us to roon.
Our kiddies gay, pot, and 'darkside of the moon'.

No dams, no dams, how callous and cruel,
compulsory tofu , confiscated ute......
Attempts at a pee,
at you local comf ' station?
"Promise ya Mongrel,
will end in a root".

Who eva stands,
'fore this once mighty state,
and saying that he "will rule for us all",
proud and brimming and "thank you me mate"......

Just remember you bastard
close the front gate!



Exclusive EAJ poem.

" I'm a poet and I voet."

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Cock Crows Once?

We interrupt this blog for a party political message to Victorian voters from Bob Brown, the Australian Greens Leader and take the opportunity of wishing Justin Walker all the best in his bid for the seat of Prahran after a predictable smear campaign by Ruppys gutter press.

"Dear Voter

During the twenty years I knew him, Peter Garrett opposed uranium mining, the Pine Gap spy facility, logging of native forests and nuclear powered ships being allowed into Australian ports.

Not any more. He is now part of the Labor machine. This week in Melbourne Labor rolled out Peter to attack the Greens. That's because in this age of climate change the Greens' environment policies are rapidly attracting Labor and Liberal voters.

The Greens remain strong on the principles Peter once sang about.

In Victoria the Greens have preferenced Labor in 60 seats and the Liberals in none. In the others we are leaving it to the voters by having split tickets favouring neither Labor nor Liberal.

But now Labor's Peter Garrett has written to voters in key Melbourne seats falsely indicating that the Greens' pro Labor preference decision is in fact pro Liberal. This is brutal, Labor machine politics. Don't fall for it.

Labor's Peter Garrett is not Midnight Oil's Peter Garrett or the Australian Conservation Foundation's Peter Garrett. He is now an anti Greens campaigner.

Ignore him. Vote Green."

Bob Brown
Australian Greens Leader


For more information and comment please contact:
Ebony Bennett 0409 164 603
or
Dave Lane on (mob) 0419 156 213

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Vale Big Bird.




For a little bit of the history of this most important event on the American calendar see this recent report in The Queens Gazette.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Rodent away, Cool Pete Plays.

A meeting was held between Pete("call me Onano") Costello and Bono, thus averting a pop culture crisis. Not in any way intimidated by John Howards' dismissive attitude to rock stars,

" Some pop culture figures had openly criticised world leaders for their management of poverty and other issues. But I dont accept preconditions for discussions with anybody including that gentleman"

the treasurer has moved to calm the troubled waters because it would be "impolite" to do otherwise.

With the huge success of the G20 gig behind him - more pictures of violent protesters around, than you can shake a baton at - he knows that he is the man most relevant to the times. He's the cat who can hit the hot press buttons,

Mr Costello said the protest organisers must take "full responsibility". Further ," I dont think taxpayers want to support people who use their time inside this country to trash our country, to trash our city or trash our reputation".These "criminal thugs" should be punished.......... "we'll have to look at who these people are, whether in fact Australian citizens and what benefits they're getting".

beat his own drum, strum the 'right' strings and sing from the business council* songbook.
Reforming of the old band 'Dollar Suits' still seems unlikely. One group connection he has not dropped is 'H.R.Nicholls Society' *, a hot little combo , always stoked and a continuing strong influence. Speaking to a reporter from 'The Inslyders', pop guru Mollie Melodrama said, "he loves Petes work" but was scathing in his criticism of the PMs failure to meet with Bono seeing it as "culture gaffe he will be never get over".

Showing absolutely no concern, Mr Howard planned to visit yet another war memorial, which brings this years tally up to 35, one aid claimed. Speaking in his now usual hectoring tone for home consumption, from Vietnam, of the 18 Australians who died in the battle of Long Tan and the 50,000 Australians who served in The Vietnam War, he said.........

"They were appallingly treated by both people who supported and opposed the involvement in Vietnam at the time and I think it's one of the things of which this(sic) country should collectively feel quite embarrassed and ashamed".

He or his party would take no responsibilty or apologise for that involvement in an ill advised adventure or any other confrontation. In particular, the invasion of Iraq under false pretenses.



Exclusive E.A.J. newswire report.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Unsatisfactory Fire Power?

Looking for a hangar to protect the missile?
People not noticeing what a big tool you are?
Sick of packing the cock in a sock?


Have we got the gonads covered for you, brother!
See link down under.

WONDERJOCK




********** Special discount for budding young neo-cons., available now.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"Anti-American".......... Who, us?

Prominent American philanthropist and manipulator, Rupert, 'the hun', Murdoch, has warned Australians to keep a lid on it. "You should know, by now, where your white bread is buttered", he told a hand picked group of sycophants in Sydney last night. Conceding that George Bush was a "complete idiot", "who wouldn't know how to do his own shoe laces up, if he ever wore them", it was important, that Australia kept "crawling" because there was too much to lose.

Prime Minister Howard welcomed Ruppys comments and explained that he was also attempting to change ships. Though he said it might be difficult in the short term, since he had, "moved so far up the Bush arse that it might be hard to extricate myself", in a timely manner before the next Australian election, "without poo on my face". He went on to point out that his involving Australia in the very unpopular war in Iraq, was the crowning achievement of his Prime Ministership. He had shown the population ,conclusively, that he "didn't give a fuck about their opinion" and only he is the one who is going to define 'terrorism' and 'democracy'.
If people didn't like it, they should "go and live in some crackpot commie dictatorship like Cuba and see how they like it", he went on to clarify.


Exclusive E.A.J. newswire report.

Monday, November 13, 2006

In the Name of Love. (Free David Hicks)

An international incident is in the making if a meeting between John Howard and Pope Bono fails to eventuate. Ever the politician to zoom in on the yoof vote -the 35 to 50 age group- the PM will not ,however, bow down to uppity pop stars who come into our country and think they can tell us something.


"I thought I heard him say that unless I am prepared to commit in advance to certain things there was no point in seeing me," Mr Howard said.

"Well, I don't commit in advance to businessmen and I certainly don't do it to high grade Irish entertainers."


Note well, those last four important words......"high grade Irish entertainers". There is still hope. He has not stopped crawling.
They have so much to share and John has found a spanking new website to interest the rock 'n' roll superstar.

Bono wishes to discuss the poor level of Australian foreign aid, which is currently only 0.3 of GDP. His wish is to have that increased to 0.7 ; not a big ask, one would have thought. More problematical is the stars expressed wish that David Hicks be freed from Guantanamo Bay. That would require the exercise of natural justice, in this case. Something that the ex-suburban lawyer, seems totally incable of understanding. He has said..........

"Because it was not a criminal offence at the time that the activity took place to train with Al Qaeda.............................

.........we do not intend to pass retrospective criminal laws. That would represent a very significant regressive move and it would violate the basis of our criminal justice system."

This bloke has been kept without trial for nearly five years by the Americans. Not making a big deal about THAT is 'regressive'. And if training with Al Queda was NOT an offence at that time, in Australia, bring him home. Remembering that it hasn't been established that he is guilty of the crime that wasn't one when he didn't commit it. Where is Rummy when you need him?

Go Bono and Amnesty International are running A PETITION on behalf of David Hicks to the P.M.......... and tanks to Ron and Susoz.

Those Wacky Greens!

Country Alliance, let the kelpe out of the kennel, way back in October, as The Vic Liberals tied up loose ends for the upcoming election, it would seem. Quoteing from The Liberals 'electronic newsletter', on their site, they made the following post, that is almost exactly(sic) as it appears.



" Libs start push against Greens

14 October 2006
The Liberals have commenced "The Watermelon Watch - The Greens: Green on the outside… pink in the middle"********* and are clearly sharpening their focus on the Greens.

We wonder if this might mean they will preference the Greens last, as have Country Alliance and the Nationals!
The following are headings from the latest Liberal electronic newsletter all of which are self-explanatory:

  • Greens policy to devatate Victorian economy;
  • Greens neglect transport in country Victoria;
  • Greens don't want coal, nuclear or wind energy;
  • Greens to supply addicts with heroin;
  • Greens to strip jobs and $130 million from economy; and
  • Greens to encourage drug use in prisons.
You've now heard from us about Greens policies, then from the Nationals and now from the Libs. We wait with interest to see what the ALP's views of the Greens policies are and where their preferences will flow. "



There we have it. An organised plan to distort and simplify the policies of the party that The Liberals see as the real threat. Pretty understandable that The Greens are last on their preferences list, ahead of Family First and every crackpot group, probably including Citizens Electoral Council . "Logical" was the word Antony Green used, on radio, given that they were running a 'smear' campaign.



Thanks to Broken Left Leg who posted,most interestingly, on the obscure parties, last Saturday ,November 11,06.

********* This is to indicate hilarious new conservative joke. Who said they can't do fruity humour with bite?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Gesture Politics®


Yesterday was difficult for John Howard as the implications of the U.S. mid term elections results filtered through to him and his hangers on. Clearly shaken, he moved from not providing free cervical cancer vaccinations for young women to guaranteeing them in the afternoon.*

Committed as he was 'to moving on' , 'going forward' and 'not being stuck in the past', he could not save himself himself from launching an all new , patent pending , branch of the horrible art. Get ready for it folks -----------we now have "Gesture Politics".

Donald Rumsfeld has been a great Orsralyan friend and his ol' buddy, George dubbya , only dismissed him just as 'gesture'. If you believe that , he also has a few suggestions about how you can keep your interest rates low and "I've been a greenie all along" and "some of my best friends are Muslim".

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Why dont you all f-fade away ........*


"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know."

The world is finally relieved of this wordsmiths service today, to fade away.





*Full lyrics.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Friday, November 03, 2006

Setback for Secret State plans.


A problem for Attorney-General Ruddock, was reported , with the allowance of , Scott Parkin , to access information from A.S.I.O. , concerning his alleged "security threat" status. A federal court judge deemed it was important for this individual to know why he had been targeted and disallowed entry to Australian shores. Mr Parkin , an American peace activist , was picked up by the security agency when travelling on a tourist visa , held in custody and deported to the U.S. for non-specified reasons. This probably does not mean the end of the matter as it is likely that our most senior legal eagle will attempt to deny any individuals most basic right, by attempting an appeal to a higher court.

"It's a fundamental principle of our law that if you are accused of something, that you're entitled to defend yourself............
And a part of being able to defend yourself is to know what you're being accused of . None of these people know what they're alleged to have done", said his lawyer , Anne Gooley, speaking of Parkin and two refugees who have been similarly treated. Now a Mr Sugar and Faisal have the right to know, as well.

The kafkaesque and "circular"nature of the mens situation was highlighted by Justice Ross Sundbergs comments. "It is, in effect, that because the applicants do not have the evidence they need, they therefore have no case, and so do not need that evidence," he said. This sought of stuff is total crap and should not be acceptable in any country that purports to be democratic. No problem with nameing people a "security threat". Just have the decency to tell them why and give them the opportunity to defend themselves.